Day 5

Despite the beer from yesterday I woke up intact after our lie in and we went up to breakfast.

I still wasn’t brave enough to eat the curry.

I did, however, have a croissant and I believe that the baker must be the disciple of Joss with her surprise Mac n Cheese as it had a sausage in it !!!

We’d decided to go up the Lotus Flower Tower and so headed out to look for a tuk tuk.

The guy we met was the loveliest, kindest, most patient bully I’ve ever met in that just in the first 5 minutes he’d “convinced” us that there was no point just going there, and he would give us a tour.

Again, it was bedlam on the roads.

He started taking about the buildings as we drove by but over all the noise I couldn’t hear a bloody thing.

He took us everywhere from churches, to Buddha places to Independence square to the Lotus Tower.

It was exhilarating in an anxious kind of way.

At independence square he tapped a pillar and said “individual stone”. Then he went to the next one and did the same, then the next, then the next. There were 28 of them and I couldn’t keep saying “amazing” for very long.

I’m sure it’s important, just not sure why?

We went to a Hindu place and you had to take your shoes off. I was wearing trainers and socks, Joss was wearing sandals.

We had to walk outside to see the sights.

Joss looked like she was auditioning for river dance as she tap tap tapped across the burning stones - of course I didn’t laugh - that would have been heartless…

Going towards a church he was chatting along and the only word I picked up was bomb.

Well, I clearly misheard that.

Then we went through a metal detector - I thought “that’s odd”.

Then he showed us the floor that still had the bomb marks from when the whole place exploded when, as he reports it, the Muslims did it.

And I thought him driving was the least safe I was going to feel….

He also wouldn’t allow us to go to the souvenir shop in the Tower as he knew of a better place.

Turns out it was a half souvenir and half sapphire shop and no doubt he got commission - needless to say he will be very disappointed with his cut.

Funny part is that we are due to do a Colombo tour on Sunday so I’ve no doubt we’ll see it all again 🤣

Once back at the hotel we paid him the huge price of £20 and went back to the room for a “comfort break”.

It was 14:30 by then and we hadn’t eaten since breakfast so we went to a nearby Vietnamese cafe and had some chicken/beef fried rice with chicken dumplings and wings.

Very nice.

We got some cash out and at 16:00 it was time for a siesta - and still no alcohol has passed my lips …..today….yet….

We had a siesta until 7 and then went off to a sports’ bar that was handily placed in a shopping mall - I’ve always thought that was a good idea.

An even better idea is this.

6 pints for £14 - yes please.

After a couple of sips Joss decided she was hungry so we both ordered spicy chicken pizza burger, where the 2 halves of a burger were used as bases for a pizza topping.

The waitress looked worried and asked if we were sure as it was Sri Lanka so going to be spicy.

How spicy, we asked?

Don’t worry, she said, I will ask them to ease off.

I finished mine with my lips “tingling” whereas it was all too much for Joss.

The waitress looked horrified/empathetic that she couldn’t eat it so suggested/guilted Joss into buying pudding.

That went down well.

So did the next tower that we ordered.

At the same time we were entertained by a band called “jukebox” and I’m telling you now, you’ve not lived until you’ve heard Mr Brightside sung by a Sri Lankan band.

During all of this the air conditioning had to be turned off due to maintenance and Joss flapped a fan until she accidentally knocked her glass of Fanta into my stone coloured trousers - right over the crotch - well, that won’t seem dodgy I thought.

The waitress saw the episode unfold and was quickly there to mop up the debris (NOT there) - Joss made a vow to tip her well but unfortunately her shift ended before we left.

When we did leave we asked a tuk tuk driver to take us home but even with google maps in front of him he couldn’t fathom where the hotel was.

So we Uber’d another tuk tuk which Joss paid for by quadrupling his fee just to get all that pent up need to tip someone out of her system.

On our floor is the spa and if they are silly enough to leave their door open, we are silly enough to snoop.

 

Back in the room  I’ve showered and it’s time for sleep - but not before realising that the chocolate wrapper I’d been eating from had showered the bed in chocolate so it may look like we’ve had the night from hell when the room is cleaned but hey ho - they knew the risks of letting old people stay…